Are You Sure?
Preface: I wrote this back in 2017, and since then, God has not only given me a spouse, but he has given me the perfect husband for me, who was and is worth the wait!
For years, I was happy being single. Naturally, during my years as a single Christian woman, I had crushes and possibilities, but inwardly, I thought that I was probably one of those Christians meant to be single my whole life. Instead of viewing this as a loss, I would instead get excited to think about all the people I could meet and help and all the trips I could take!
Until six months ago, God put a longing in my heart for me to share my life with someone. It wasn't a feeling of loneliness; I already knew Christ could fill that in my heart. It was a genuine desire to share my life with someone. So, I signed up for online dating. Yes, there were some fun stories. Yes, there were some weird stories. Yes, there are lots of creeps out there.
Through all the guys I met, there was a Christian man who I started seeing. As we talked more, some differences came up concerning what each of us wanted and needed. I soon found myself making compromises I never thought I would, which was a real eye-opener. Like many, I wanted a monogamous relationship, but the guy I was seeing wasn't ready for that, so I told myself that I would hang on until he was.
When I stopped to ask myself if I actually wanted to date him and liked being with him, I didn't. I was making compromises for a guy I wasn't entirely into! I was going against the nature of how God created relationships to be fulfilling and equal to settling for something that was second-best.
It was then that I realized I had to let him go, and even though we were new, it still hurt; however, I knew that he was not what God had planned for me. I was reminded of Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (NIV), which seemed to be my anthem of the year. As I did just that, this "relationship" seemed more wrong and less fulfilling.
As I prayed, God reminded me that there is always hope when I seek him and wait for him! Not just the hope for what he provides but the hope of newness in him and the joy he gives when I seek him.
Psalm 33: 20-22 says, "Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you." (ESV)
In my mind, I pictured a half-empty water bottle, clutching it until my knuckles were white until I finally opened my palm so God could take it. He then replaces it with an entire bottle of the freshest water that continues refilling.
So many times, I have let something go, and God gave me something better! It no longer mattered if my relationships ended in marriage or if I remained single. What matters is if I obeyed God and trusted him with my heart and future. I rested in the knowledge that he put exactly what I needed in my heart, and it would be much better than what I had given up.
Sometimes, there is a pain in obedience, as I have learned, but there is always hope for the future God puts in our hearts.
Think About It:
Have you trusted God with your hearts and dreams?
Do you struggle with being single?
Have you previously given your heart to someone you knew wasn’t right for you?
Do you believe that God is good and has a plan for your life?
Pray About It:
Lord,
I come to you knowing that you have made me in your image, shaping me to love and receive love. I praise you that any relationship I may have pales compared to your deep and abiding love for me. Guide me in your will for my life, not just whether I am single or married, but in every way I show others love.
Amen